Could I have some suggestions for improvement ?

OK! For ALL to understand, how it goes: When a poet composes in long verses (like here) It is impossible to keep a proper meter. Either you will sacrifice upon small words, or upon syntax or you will diminish the length of verse. I 'd rather have an inconsistent meter, than sacrificing the philosophy it may include. The English language can be very expressive in a multi dimensional way, but still, the usage of meter is difficult, that's why many poets write "free verse poetry". French is different because all words are toned upon the ultimate syllable, so you can meter in no time. Do not spend a whole lot of time to correct it, I like it. Many works sound like a recounting of a story.